Think wayyyyy back....we left off the last blog with me visiting my family for the harvest holiday, during that whirlwind of a weekend I ended up getting swine flu.....which is awesome because I was vaccinated against it.
Swine Flu:
Swine (formally H1N1) is like the regular flu, sinus infection, strep and mono all got together and made a baby. To tell you that I can't remember ever feeling that miserable would be a lie.....but I hope that I don't ever have to feel like that again! Or at least for a while. It takes you OUT. The best part is that I had to drive back to cedar with this lovely disease....super achy body, exhausted, coughing, nauseated, feverish miserable me....driving. For those of you who don't know. I HATE DRIVING DISTANCE. Seriously, anything that passes the 45 minute mark is pushing it. Road trips? I'd rather die. In fact please just pre-emptively execute me so that I don't have some kind of psychotic break during the "super-fun road trip" and endanger the lives of everyone around me. In order to get from cedar back to Salt Lake, I would rather wait an hour in the little airport, fly for 45 minutes and then have to wait another hour in SLC than drive. Granted it's not AS bad if someone else is driving, but none of my friends have cars, or at least cars/driving skills that I would trust to any lengthy driving.
Needless to say, I was out for the next week; sleeping 18 hours a day.....and that drive was one of the worst I have ever had to endure.
Midterms:
A word second only to "Finals" in the kind of anxiety it instantly creates. At this point I had missed an entire week of school, meaning that not only had I missed classes, but I didn't even have notes to study from. The problem with being a science or any "hard-core" major is that, if you miss class....you will have absolutely no idea what's going on. Such was the case with me. I did my very best to read the chapters, catch up on lab work and borrow notes from friends....but in the end I epicly failed my midterms. Some of them I didn't fail, but all of the scores were low enough to drop my class grade by an entire letter. Which means that I will now have to spend the rest of the semester acing EVERYTHING in order to fix those.....as if there's already not enough pressure on me to do well.....thanks swine flu. *sobbing sounds.....*
Ballroom:
You knew this section was coming. Don't act too surprised. Basically the past several weeks has been all about publicity for our upcoming show (it's this weekend!) and lots of little shows in an attempt to get the word out. Including but not limited to.....
- The Howl: the university's HUGE Halloween party where we were dressed up like zombies! Check the pictures out on facebook if you get the chance! We looked sooooo eerie!
- The Homecoming Parade
- The Homecoming Game Halftime show- country western line dance, fully decked in cowboy apparel
- Bread and Soup Nite- a monthly food bank event, students get in free with a can of food. And there's always live entertainment
- The 158th Cedar City birthday party, prestigious!
After the performance at the Cedar City birthday party there was a huge party at Ariel's house for the entire company and it was so fun! It was really nice to see everyone outside of a rehearsal environment :)
True T-Bird Night
Funny/ridiculous story of this blog. Okay, so every year there is a school sponsored event/tradition called "True T-bird Night" where you kiss someone, on a full moon, at the stroke of midnight in front of this statue and then you are dubbed a true-suu-thunderbird. Kind-of ridiculous....but hey it's a tradition. I had no intentions of going until Lizzy invited me to go with her and Megan. One of the things on Lizzy's bucket list is to kiss a complete stranger....and true-t night provides the perfect opportunity for something like that. Basically this event is like the mardi-gras of kissing.....
Okay, so at TTB (sorry I'm already tired of writing it out lol) we were just kind of standing around and then all of the sudden the countdown to midnight begins.... 10.....9.......8.....Lizzy finds her stranger...and I am still standing there awkwardly when one of my best guy-friends on ballroom approaches me and says, "You and me Lycia".... and in my mind I think, "Why not?" this guy is nice, this kiss means NOTHING, and then I'll have taken part in this tradition. Yay college experiences.
So I end up kissing previously stated friend. And life moved on from there. Was it kinda weird the next day? And in ballroom after that? oh ya. Not even gonna hide. But we're such good friends...that both of us were just glad that we hadn't ended up kissing creepy people haha. It was our little secret. We knew that if anyone on ballroom ever ever ever EVER found out, it would cause some serious drama.... so we had a firm "no tell" policy, which was working out great UNTIL.....
The school newspaper had covered the event, and on the back page of the next week's edition was a picture..... and yours truly leaning in to kiss friend truly..... and all hello broke loose. Even now I can laugh and just think how completely ridiculous it all is....but man -there were some people that were not happy about it. Why they care so much? I have no idea. But I felt like a celebrity for a day....you know? When celebs have something personal that they didn't want anyone else to know about put all over the news? yup. Moral of the story, don't kiss people if you don't mean it....or at least make sure there aren't cameras to bear witness to such an exchange.
The Six Chicks:
Oh drama. So Brenna was getting into all of these spats over stupid things with the other girls and keeping things from them, which just led to her feeling bad about it.....basically an absurd lack of communication led to Brenna moving out of the apartment and into a different eccles unit. I think the entire thing is really stupid. Brenna started dating this guy and right as she was about to tell the girls, Megan expressed her disdain for said guy and so Brenna, not wanting to have this budding relationship kaboshed, decided not to tell them. Pulling off of history, I can't blame her. The Six Chicks never liked Adam (my boyfriend all last year) and it put a major strain on the six chick dynamic and on Adam and my relationship. I could never be around my boyfriend with my friends, and I really hated that. Brenna didn't want the same thing to happen to her....
And then there are the basic roommate things of not helping out around the apartment enough, and personality differences that led to head butting. Anyways, Brenna no longer lives there....and as of right now, it feels to me like she's being exiled because everyone is still so upset about this that no one has really moved on...... it's ridiculous.
Dating:
Yuck. Here's where I'm at. I want to either....
- Haul off and get married
- Forget about boys and dating until after I finish school
- Find a meaningful-no pressure relationship
There is this crazy idea I heard of, where people date to get to know one another, to see if they're compatible. Where you're in a relationship for the sake of the relationship. A person that you care about who cares about you, and extended support system. With no pressures to immediately get married..... Maybe it's an "outside of Utah" perspective.... but even my marriage prep-class (LDS institute) says that time is your best friend. When I first started dating Adam, I thought I was going to marry him.....but after eight months we both realized that we weren't the best match. Can you imagine if I had done the "utah-wedding in three months" plan? I would have married him, and been stuck for time and all eternity to a man that I didn't even know, that I would've ended up hating.
I would really love to be in a relationship again, just for the companionship aspect. But if people can't figure that out than I'd rather just be alone. Heaven knows I'm busy enough already haha.
Just this semester I've been stood up, I've dated a man who was MARRIED.....ya didn't know about that, a guy that had a girlfriend and was just looking for his "other woman," been flirted with a ton by nice guys who never have the guts to actually ask me out, and have been avoiding my everpresent ex, while all trying to stay positive about the dating experience. Eff the dating experience. Forget the games. If you like me, then like me and do something about it. If you don't, then please just go away.
What I've learned: Buckle your seatbelts kids....this is heavy stuff.
On my last shift in OB, I watched a baby die. A pre-mature boy with underdeveloped lungs was delivered at 21 weeks (that's not even halfway) he tried to cry, to start breathing on his own, and his lungs collapsed. From there the baby went from respiratory arrest to cardiac arrest and died right in front of me....and there was nothing I could do. Harder than that, was watching his parents fall apart after witnessing the death of their new son. I literally had to excuse myself from the room to do "paperwork" so that I didn't break down with them.
I never understood the saying, "Life is fragile," until that exact moment. And watching their despair I wanted more than anything to give a part of my life so that they could have their son back.... they could have twenty years of mine....they could have it all.....but then I rememebered that we all die, and timing is never good for tragedy. I saw an amazing play at SUU recently called "Our town" and in the third act, the heroine is dead and watching over the world she barely left and she says, "Were we all that blind? We don't even take the time to really look at each other anymore, to see anything in our lives for what it is, until it's too late." This line hit me like a ton of bricks....and I realized that my life is just going through the motions.
I feel like everytime I try to do something "bucket-list" worthy or something that I'll remember and can talk to my children about......I get scolded because it's "not in line with what I should be doing." Let me ask you readers, when is the last time you took the time to actually live you life? The kind of living with the no regrets policy? The kind of life that makes you happy? That makes you, you? That separates your human experience from everyone elses?
Call me melodramatic (trust me it wouldn't be the first time) but I'm talking stargazing, roasting marshmallows over fires, dancing in the rain, impromptu trips to wherever, staying up late to talk to someone you miss in a different time zone, trying something you've never done before, singing in the shower, calling someone just to remind them that you care about them, going to a rally, attending an opera, playing in a park, volunteering in your community, laughing so hard that you cry, reading a good book, listening to your children, picked up a new hobby, been in a religious meeting that really moved you, done something that scared you.......
L I V E D
Can you remember a time recently? I'll bet you anything you're willing to lose, that those parents of that baby...if they were given only five years with him....do you think they'd waste it? What if you only had five years left to live? Do you think you'd do things differently?
I know that we have to work, go to school, become educated, pay bills and all of those "responsible things." I'm not saying throw that out and begin a hippie lifestyle of peace, love and poverty. Instead, I'm challenging you to enhance your life by actually living it.
Until next time
Bon Voyage
